2005-08-04 - 4:59 a.m.

Damn it. I'm not tired and I don't have anything to do, so I've decided to write again. I can't play around on myspace because they're "undergoing maintenance." So grrr to that. I don't feel good right now and have no clue why. My stomach hurts like someone's kicking me with steel toed boots. I'm debating getting one of my switchblades and cutting my organs out. I'd feel better, but then I probably wouldn't be living anymore..so ya know, not the brightest idea. I'm pretty sure this entire entry is just going to be me bullshitting. If I can think of enough bullshit, that is. So Mel, MB, Tosha and I went to the club tonight. Metro, not Backstreet. Metro is much smaller and more intimate, I guess you'd say. Sandra, Ollie, Hannah, Amanda, and Brittany (don't care which way she spells it) were all there. Sandra and Hannah both performed. I was so proud. Haha. Like a momma hen, but not really. Ollie was hanging all over me, which was really strange. She's never been like that with me. The closest to anything like that, which really isn't that closely connected at all, was when she was upset at Backstreet and I offered to hump her leg if it'd make her feel better. She was hugging on me and had her arm draped over my shoulders and would come up behind me and hug up on me. She's sweet like a big ol' teddy bear..but I'm hoping she's not interested in anything more than friends with me. She seemed to hint to something, but I'd like to be dense and pretend I didn't notice. So yeah, didn't happen. And then MB's stupid ass tries to ask Tosha if she liked me and she just kinda avoided answering. Then she asked me if I like Tosha and I said she already knew the answer. We had been through that when we were drunk. Haha. Some things..I swear. It's just truth serum. Anyway, Mel and MB were sitting at the table and me and Tosha were standing at it. Mel and Tosha were talking, and me and MB were talking. And then there was a jaw dropping moment. MB looks at me and says,"Well, I like you, Suzy." I said," I kinda already knew that." "But it's supposed to be a secret!" "Well, you didn't do a very good job of hiding it." It amazed me though, cuz she had the nerve to say that while Mel is sitting right there. Seriously, I'm not interested in MB so I hope she and Mel don't break up and she thinks she can like come after me or something. I had to pee, but I don't like going off in places with a lot of people by myself, so MB came with me. It was just a regular little bathroom, but MB wanted to come in with me. I made her keep the water going and not look at me. We were talking about Tosha, but MB turned it around to herself saying she liked me and I said,"Honey, you're in a relationship. You have a girlfriend." "Yeah! And I've been trying to leave the bitch for months!" I was aghast at that. I couldn't help but laugh, though. I mean, DAMN. And get this..Squeaky, my little pet from french class, was there. (His real name's Brent.) He used to be shorter than me, this scrawny little thing that ran track. I used to carry him around school like he was my pet monkey. He was all dragged up. Looked pretty, but it was so strange. The last time I saw him, he was working at La Hacienda as a greeter. That time he exclaimed over how much weight I had lost, he did the same this time. Even still, he's so adorable. He was lettin loose dancing around and oh it was so silly. Blew my mind. I always told him he was gay. Guess he believes me now. Haha. We left not too long after the show was over. Brent's drag name is..holy shit. I just blanked. N something. How did that just happen?! (Nadia!!!) Damn you holes in my brain! Anyway, he/she told us we have to come back tomorrow (I guess today now) to watch her (I'll just say her) perform. After the club, we drove through MckyD's to get something to drink. Took Mel and MB home and then went back to Tosha's. I think I may have revealed way too much about myself, but it's not like I can take it back, so it doesn't really matter. But at least I wasn't blurting out like deep dark secrets or something. I guess I should just look at it as a "this is me, take me or leave me" kinda thing. Looks like I didn't scare her off, though. So that's a good thing. Dude, Amanda's such a cunt. I'd take pleasure in beating her big ass. She took a picture of herself flicking off the camera and put "Fuck you,T" as the caption. That's just ridiculously trying to get a rise out of someone. God, I can't fucking stand people like that. Stupidity at it's finest. Even though finest shouldn't really be the word. Stupidity at it's lowest, maybe. Oh I really feel like I'm about to throw up my internal organs. I have absolutely no clue why. Please someone shoot me. Ooo! I could get Maria to shoot me. She was telling me about her gun earlier. But damn it, I hate guns. Maybe I can find someone who'll slit a major artery so it'll be quick. Haha what the fuck? I'm not even being serious, but it probably seems like it. Wow..song from The Little Mermaid just popped into my head. "Poor unfortunate soooouuuuuuullllll!" Inside my head is sheer randomness. I'm not sure anyone else could take living in my head but me. Guess I've just grown accustomed to the out-thereness. But gosh can it be entertaining when I'm bored. It's like I can make up movies and play them in my head. See now, this is just babble. And I just got the urge to turn banshee. Just out of the blue, I tell you. Oh my poor tum tum. Sad face! And to do something I started doing, but then stopped and have thought about picking back up (long way of saying it,dude): THE THOUGHT OF THE DAY ON MY SHIRT: All I ever needed to know I learned from Tinky Winky. Some people don't get that. Tinky Winky is a Teletubby. Tinky Winky is the gay teletubby. If you can't put it together after that, let me tell you (I'm probably not the first to say this if you don't get it), you're stupid. So fucking awesomeness dude. I just realized I can turn my pain tolerance on and off like a switch. Holy shit that's strange. One thing that sucks: when I'm in huge pain, I get nauseous. Even after the pain is gone, I still feel like I'm gonna puke. Sumuma bitch. I keep thinking about gouging my eye out with a wooden spoon. Then I think about the Czar of Russia and how he gouged the building designer's eyes out. Why do I know such random facts? I may as well shut my yap now. Or maybe I should put those chinese finger cuffs on all my fingers so I can't type anymore. I realized something else. When people fuck up their grammar typing, in my head, I change it to be correct as I'm reading. I do that, and even still, screw up myself. Strangeness. SHUT UP!

previous - next

Happy Deathday!
Your name:	ENTER USERNAME
You will die on:	Wednesday, August 20, 2031
You will die of:	Fall from Great Height
Username:
Created by Quill

You Are Totally a Lesbian

Someone would have to be blind and deaf to miss out on the fact that you are a lesbian.
You've been checking out women for so long that you've gotten it down to a science.
You love tits and legs and smarts.
You enjoy sex with ladies, from kissing to banging to eating them out.
You hope to settle down with a woman and make a vow with her for life.
You are most worked up about the lack of a legitimate gay marriage.
Since men are not your thing, legal marriage is a difficult opinion.
You long to live in a lesbian utopia!

Are *You* a Lesbian?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

You Are Teen Skank Skipper!

You come complete with a fake ID, Sex Ed book, and Hello Kitty g-string.

Horny Teacher Ken sold separately.

Not recommended for children under 6.

What Naughty Barbie Are *You*?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

You Are G-String Panties!

100% pure raw sex, baby!
You're hot and not afraid to flaunt it.

What's Kind of Panties Are *You*?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

previous - next