2005-08-30 - 2:44 a.m.

Been a while since I've written. And I don't really feel much like writing now. There's things that have happened, lots of things. I just don't really feel like writing about it on here anymore. The whole idea of this has just changed for me. That aggravates me to no end. I knew that would happen. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaarrrrrrrr, I say.

Ida's dogs are driving me insane. I've had to pretty much change my life to revolve around them. Today was the first day since she's moved in I haven't run home just to take care of them. I'm fed up! Sookie keeps finding random things to chew on. Film canisters, shoes, skeens of yarn...The freggin tartar control cat treats. She ate every last one of them. And she's barking her head off at Steven. She thought at first he was an intruder, and now she's just pissed. He sprays her with the water gun when she barks. It goes against her training as a gaurd dog so she gets even madder. She's the sweetest dog, but the way the two of them are, she might bite him soon. She's gotten to where she'll let him pet her for a minute and then bark like she's some big ferocious dog about to maul someone's throat. Magoo has chilled out with the barking at the cats for the most part. How much more can I take?! And Ida's bossing me around. I'm about to tell her to tattoo slave bitch on my fucking forehead. She's backed off some, though. There were crates of stuff in our half bath and she expected me to do something with it, even though it wasn't my stuff. She went in and I mumbled,"Say something bitch." She walks out.."Luuuucccyyy!!.." I simply said,"Don't say anything. I'm not in the mood." She seemed to deflate, said "sorry" and walked off. Yay! Glad that worked, otherwise I would've gone off on her.

I've been with Tosha almost constantly. I spent the night over there last night and wish I was still there now. I fully intended on staying again, but when I called Pops he said it would be "greatly appreciated" if I came home. He knows how to guilt me. He has this tone... Also, he and Ida are both giving me $50 Wed. and I don't want him to try to renig on that. (I probably spelled that wrong, but get over it if you care that much.) I need money whenever I can get it. It'll give me a chance to buy stuff when I need it. Since Pops has been dodging getting me shampoo, deodorant and that such whatnot. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to just conveniently forget to come home. Suckage. We sat in the car for a while once we got here cuz I didn't want to go in. Pops, like I thought, was sitting there waiting for me to come home. (I'm not used to that. I'm used to coming and going as I please. This is fucking weird!) He gave me a weird look. People think I misread looks, but I know. His look said,"What have you been doing? Where were you?" Is he suddenly trying to be parental when I'm 20??? And Tosha's upset cuz her apartment is leaking from the balcony. (Everytime I type that word I think of the tag I found on Mom's patio chairs that said "great for indoors and out on the baloney." haha) I wish there was something I could do to help. And even if I couldn't help, I wish I could be there to try to make her not so upset. I'm not sure if she'd really want me there since she's upset and all. But still, I wish I could be. I hope she'll still come over tomorrow. Hrm.

Melissa (nakie girl) tried to talk to me earlier. It lasted maybe 2 minutes because I was uninterested in shit she had to say. Guess she got the point. I'm still pissed at her for trying to start drama. I get enough drama, I don't need somebody around me who's main interest is the starting of drama.

On the same topic-line. I am so sick of people talking shit about me. Lately, I've heard a lot from a lot of people. Well, a lot for me. I'm not used to the whole shit talking thing. I usually try to stay away from it. Some of the sources surprise me. That's one thing I hate about Memphis. Everyone talks shit and no one seems to care whether it's true or not, they'll spread it. Quite a bit of it just seems to be people talking out their asses. Ridiculous, I tell you.

I am so sore. My arms, my legs, my back. I want to take an epsom salt bath, but it's storming big time still. The wind actually shook my house earlier, one of the trees in the front yard completely came up roots and all across the driveway. That tree was there for 12 years, but it needed to come up anyway. The power has been blinking in and out. Pisser!

September is coming upon me quickly. The yard sales start the 17th and Pops still hasn't gotten me the stuff to go through yet. And he's wanting to buy a space on the map and everything. I'm hoping to sell a lot of stuff. It'd help get rid of some of the clutter. My only worry is, will I be able to detatch myself from some of this stuff? Damn my pack rat gene. But I always wonder who'd want to buy my old crap? But Ida's tables could help to have things to set stuff up on. I'm going to have to part with some of my stufdies. I have a shitload, so it'll be okay. I will survive. Hope I don't pull my hair out by then.

I love smells. That sounds weird. But there are smells that comfort me. Smells that remind me of past happy memories, or just good smells. Perfumes, colognes, and sometimes just the smell of a person. Does anyone else ever just smell somebody? Their essence? I'm weird.

But I guess I'm going to stop now. I've written enough, right?

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